i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just pee around me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
