Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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