Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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