Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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