Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
