what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
