During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
