where am i from again
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
