Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
