I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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