Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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