Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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