i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
