did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
