i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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