I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
