i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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