apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
did you just send me my own nude
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
