we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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