Plan B is the new Plan A
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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