I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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