She said her name was "party"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
