Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
