im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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