I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
