You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
