In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think pants incapable of making pants work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
