Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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