Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
