So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
