i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize