if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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