No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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