Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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