Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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