just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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