Say something about gay babies.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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