I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize