Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize