New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
