Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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