Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
