You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
