I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
