Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize