Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
