I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
