so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
