Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
