Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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