i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
