Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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