Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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