I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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