Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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