you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
