everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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