Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
