come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
