Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
