4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
