I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
