you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
