how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
