This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
