Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
