Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
